The last couple of weeks in group we have been talking about stages of grief. So far I’ve figured out that I am kind of stuck in anger.
I kind of feel like I’m going backwards. I used to be so upset, crying a lot. Now I’m just depressed and kind of oblivious to some emotions. The only time I have cried in a few years was when I had a couple of anxiety attacks. Medication is controlling that. Oh, and when my dog died.
I almost feel numb and regretfully almost uncaring. Other people in group are moved, saddened, or seem to experience some kind of emotions while there. Not me. I just sit.
It seems I don’t really know what to think about the things that are brought up. Isn’t that the point? To discuss things to make us feel? To help us become enlightened about our experiences? To learn?
I’m certainly not in denial. I know what happened, although I wonder if there are any more repressed memories.
Hopefully I will figure something out one of these days.