Under a Rock

Today I am feeling sad, confused, depressed……..
Why? Who knows. Nothing is different, nothing changed.
I slept about 12 hours last night and could have kept on sleeping all day. But, we have to continue on with life, like it or not.

Didn’t take my meds last night or this morning. Could that really be having an effect on my mood? Am I feeling what I feel today for real, or is it because I didn’t take my medication? Really just one day can make a difference? It kind of sucks not knowing what I should be feeling. Seriously I hate thinking. Life is easier without it.

Sometimes I think that therapy hurts more than it helps, makes me think too much. My therapist says I am numbing. I guess she is right. I know I need to go, to eventually feel better. I wish I would have done it a long time ago. I feel old, too old for this shit.

Why now? Why couldn’t I have just kept crawling under rocks, pretending that everything was ok?

I would like to crawl under one right now!

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About Avictimnomore

Lost soul, trying to find myself. Trying to learn to be a survivor of child sexual abuse, the death of my parents when I was a teen, and being disowned by my remaining family.
This entry was posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, awareness, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, parent death, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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