Passing the test.

This week has been good, up until today. I think I did a good job of maintaining some level of sanity, happiness. I worked hard in the yard and fixing the pool all week. Sure does feel good to be out in the sun all day, soaking up those happy rays of sunshine.

Which brings me to today. Without going into detail, people really irritate me sometimes. I managed to maintain my composure and not go off on anyone. But that irritated me too. What am I supposed to do with those pent up feelings? I think they just sit in my brain and fester. So, I called up a friend and vented , which was not my intention when I called, just the way it ended up. Came home and took one of my anxiety pills, rested, tried to meditate.

It did help. Not 100%, but it helped.

I feel like I’m trying so hard to stay in control of myself and my feelings. Why do I have to be tested? I’m not really ready. I think I may have gotten a “C” for the day. Not bad I guess.

I’m irritated that I will not be able to go to the Qi-Gong class I signed up for. Really trying to get my head together and be calm.

My struggle for next week is not to get an “F”. I am out of two of the three psych meds I take. Who knows when I can get more. Who knows where this coming week will lead me.


About Avictimnomore

Lost soul, trying to find myself. Trying to learn to be a survivor of child sexual abuse, the death of my parents when I was a teen, and being disowned by my remaining family.
This entry was posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, awareness, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, parent death, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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