Life’s Shit

My last post had been sitting in limbo for months. So yes, it has been months since I’ve written in my blog.

For a while I didn’t have anything to say, I thought everything was going along fine. Learn from this, when u think things are going well they’re not. Ok maybe they are but that’s no time to get lax.

What have I done?

I got a job. Feel in lust with my co-worker, who ended up becoming my boss. Had an affair and ended up getting kicked out of my house. The job was good. Being homeless, not so much.

As a result of the breakup of my relationship, losing the roof over my head, I started to lose it. Ya, I lost it. I couldn’t handle my the decisions I made and the results of them.

I ended up getting Baker Acted for three days. I took a handful of pills. Didn’t really do much to me, or for me for that matter either. But I was honest with my therapist and told her what I did. Off I went. It was a nice break.

I was pretty scared when I first went to the “hospital”. Right away I thought “I don’t belong here”. I felt sane right away. After the first day of crying I started to settle in. Never mind the schizophrenics and paranoid delusionals, people walking around talking to themselves, I did belong there.

It gave me a much needed break from the hell which is the reality of my life.
I got some good rest, thanks to the dr. Three good meals a day, yes they were good. They fixed some of my medication. I enjoyed all of the therapy sessions they had. If you pay attention and tried, they were beneficial.

The time away was good. To be able to think and not really worry about life was nice. The bad thing is that as nice as it was to get away, all the same shit and problems are still here waiting for me.

I still don’t have a job, again. I now have to try and work out the relationship I fucked up and all my other problems are still here.

It’s been three days since my visit to Manatee Glens. I’m still ok. Just have to keep at it one day at a time and not get ahead of myself again.

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About Avictimnomore

Lost soul, trying to find myself. Trying to learn to be a survivor of child sexual abuse, the death of my parents when I was a teen, and being disowned by my remaining family.
This entry was posted in adult survivor of child abuse, awareness, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, parent death, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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