Regrets…More Holiday Blues

Regret. Plenty of it. 
You’re supposed to live your life without regrets. Ha ha. How does one do that? Are there really people who have no regrets? Do we evolve so that we can take those regrets and turn them into lessons? I still regret those things. 

I regret not loving my parents more before they died. Maybe I should say, not showing them love. Especially my mother. For the whole amount of time she was sick I didn’t spend enough time with her. I know I didn’t really realize that she was dying. I didn’t think she would go away, she would always be there!  

I regret spending my inheritance in such foolish ways. I hate where my life has led me. I could have made things easier on myself if I hadn’t wasted my money. 

I regret not having any children. I don’t know if I could have had them myself, but if I had managed my life better I could have adopted one or two. 

I regret not being around for my niece and nephews. If I was around when my brother raped my niece, his daughter, I would have killed him and it would have been totally worth it.  

I regret not being a better person. I try to be the best person I can. Does it count where it needs to? I don’t think I really do a good job of it. 

  

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About Avictimnomore

Lost soul, trying to find myself. Trying to learn to be a survivor of child sexual abuse, the death of my parents when I was a teen, and being disowned by my remaining family.
This entry was posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, awareness, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, Holidays, incest, love, parent death, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Regrets…More Holiday Blues

  1. I don’t think a single person in this world can admit to having no regrets. I think we have to take them, admit them, deal with them, and then try to make it different in the future. HUGS!

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