More feelings, more hate……

I’m still thinking too much.  I want it to stop.  My therapist says it’s good for me.  Now, if only I could cry. That’s supposed to be the best part. 

I came across this article tonight, thought I would share it.  In response to the article, I would like to thank my biological parents for neglecting me so badly that the state of California took me away from them. 

Link – How to Recognize and Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect: “Symptoms of Emotional Neglect ”


Symptoms of childhood emotional neglect that show up in adults may include (but are not limited to):


 “Numbing out” or being cut off from one’s feelings

 Feeling like there’s something missing, but not being sure what it is

 Feeling hollow inside

 Being easily overwhelmed or discouraged

 Low self-esteem


 Pronounced sensitivity to rejection

 Lack of clarity regarding others’ expectations and your own expectations for yourself


While having these symptoms doesn’t necessarily mean you were emotionally neglected, if you identify with more than one symptom, it may be worthwhile to talk with a therapist about the possibility.”

Interesting stuff. Emotional neglect and abuse is sometimes difficult to define. It’s not the same as physical or sexual abuse, but it might cut just as deeply, and it absolutely affects someone into adulthood. It’s hard to develop emotionally as a child when this type of abuse is going on, and adults who have not developed emotionally, struggle in so many ways. It’s worth thinking about that possibility when it comes to dealing with our adult selves.


How to Recognize and Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect

Read the whole article here:

In addition to that bullshit, our second car sprung a leak today.  I hope it’s nothing too serious. My car hasn’t run for two months so this is the only car we have right now. I was very excited today because we are supposed to be going to Clearwater to see my favorite artist “Beth Hart” perform at a blues festival Sunday. Well, if this car isn’t fixed by then it looks like we won’t be able to go.  

Why does it seem like whenever there’s something to be happy about, something happens to mess it up.  Something to try and make me depressed. Notice, I’m not using words like, “never”, “always”. I can be perfectly depressed and express it without those words. You all know what I’m talking about if you’ve been in therapy for a while. 

Sometimes I wonder if I ever had a chance. 

Time to sulk 



About Avictimnomore

Lost soul, trying to find myself. Trying to learn to be a survivor of child sexual abuse, the death of my parents when I was a teen, and being disowned by my remaining family.
This entry was posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, awareness, brother, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, parent death, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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