Crazy Experiment? 

I went off my meds today. I actually started last night with my 5pm pills being the last of the day. No insulin or METFORMIN before bed. 

No high blood pressure pills. No anxiety meds or depression meds. I take so many pills for so many things but let me try to list them here…… METFORMIN, glyburide, insulin, metoprolol, verapamil,  Lexapro, cerebrex?, levothroxine, citalopram, adderall. I think that might be it. 

I feel like my mind has been so fucked up this last week or two. Really is this going to hurt or help me?  It might take a few days or weeks to find the answer. I kind of feel like a person with bi-polar disorder when they go off their meds. 

I have discovered this week, as I mentioned in my last post, that I am not as great as I thought I was. I don’t think my shit is together the tiny bit that I thought it was. 

So far, on my first day of this “experiment” my sugar is ok and my blood pressure is good. Those things are in the range they’re supposed to be. It helps that I haven’t eaten, except for dinner tonight. I have had my protein drink for breakfast and lunch. So yes, I am getting nutrients. Yay me!

I swore I wasn’t going to talk so much and share my feelings either, but here I am. You’re different. You understand. 

So I’m curious, how will this little experiment work out?  Can I manage my depression and emotions on my own without medication? The odds are stacked against me on that one. Not a good track record for sure. Am I going to be able to maintain control of my blood sugar? Maybe, if I quit eating. 😀 Am I going to keep my blood pressure down? Chances of that seem good since I’m not eating any sodium.  Really how clogged up is my heart and veins, arteries and whatever?  Who knows? It’s been a while since I’ve had a heart cath. 

Other than that, is this really just an experiment or passive suicide?
Just thoughts in my head. No worries.  


About Avictimnomore

Lost soul, trying to find myself. Trying to learn to be a survivor of child sexual abuse, the death of my parents when I was a teen, and being disowned by my remaining family.
This entry was posted in anxiety, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, Diabetes, weight, diet, healthy, kidneys, PTSD, suicide, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Crazy Experiment? 

  1. Take care of yourself. Everything will pass:)

  2. Good luck, sometimes a hard reset can be a good thing.

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