Another Episode

Yes, I had another HUGE anxiety episode today. I didn’t bother to mention the big trigger I had Thursday. 

I’ve started my new medication and it can’t start working fast enough. Basically it’s like three weeks without depression or anxiety medication because this shit isn’t working yet!  

I’m not sure I, or those around me, can wait two weeks for this (Latuda) to start working. I’m getting close to hospitalizing myself. I’ll wait and see what happens another day. 

IM FUCKING SICK OF THIS SHIT AND BEING ME! 

_________________________________________________

“Gloomy Sunday”

By Sarah McLaughlin
Sunday is Gloomy,

My hours are slumberless,

Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless

Little white flowers will never awaken you
Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you

Angels have no thought of ever returning you

Would they be angry if I thought of joining you

Gloomy Sunday
Sunday is gloomy

with shadows I spend it all

My heart and I have decided to end it all

Soon there’ll be flowers and prayers that are sad,

I know, let them not weep,

Let them know that I’m glad to go
Death is no dream,

For in death I’m caressing you

With the last breath of my soul I’ll be blessing you

Gloomy Sunday
Dreaming

I was only dreaming

I wake and I find you

Asleep in the deep of

My heart

Dear

Darling I hope that my dream never haunted you

My heart is telling you how much I wanted you

Gloomy Sunday

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About Avictimnomore

Lost soul, trying to find myself. Trying to learn to be a survivor of child sexual abuse, the death of my parents when I was a teen, and being disowned by my remaining family.
This entry was posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, awareness, brother, Complex PTSD, death, depression and anxiety, Diabetes, weight, diet, healthy, kidneys, incest, love, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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