Toss up

I have so many thoughts in my head I don’t know which to talk about. Should I talk about my anxiety and feelings of never being good enough, never getting a good job again?  How long is my brain going to be fucked up from my childhood sexual abuse.  I’m tired of trying to fix myself! 

Just now I was looking up why children get taken from the home for neglect. Not now but in the 1960’s, when I was.   Just how bad was the abuse, why didn’t they take my brother too? Why did it seem to happen so fast, being taken out of the home then subsequently adopted.  Why does my biological family keep it a secret?  

What the fuck happened to me?

Why is it so fucking hard to find out anything? I don’t think I’ll ever give up on these questions. 

I’ll be writing more frequently now, I want to get this shit off my chest!


About Avictimnomore

Lost soul, trying to find myself. Trying to learn to be a survivor of child sexual abuse, the death of my parents when I was a teen, and being disowned by my remaining family.
This entry was posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, brother, Complex PTSD, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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