Not good enough

After the shitty day I had at work I think I’ll talk about not feeling good enough. Not being good enough to have a decent job. Not good enough to have a decent position in a shitty job. Not good enough to have any good things happen to me.  

I’m sure it’s not just me is it? I’ve sure a lot of other people with PTSD and depression feel the same things I do. Don’t you get tired of it? I am. I am tired of it now.

Why does it seem like nothing good can happen? That always seems like you’re living in some sort of hell! 

I’m tired of going to therapy every week to try to get better but nothing seems to get any better the same old shit. How is it that we’re not supposed to feel like giving up.

Do you know how people talk about karma, getting back good things. Well I think that’s bullshit I don’t care what religion is this what you believe I do good things. I do good things without expecting anything back just to try to be nice to others.  Where is my good karma for that is it the fact that my life isn’t any worse than it is? That’s just great. I know I’m supposed be happy with what I have but I’m not.

I don’t even care enough right now to fix my bad spelling and shit. 

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About Avictimnomore

Lost soul, trying to find myself. Trying to learn to be a survivor of child sexual abuse, the death of my parents when I was a teen, and being disowned by my remaining family.
This entry was posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, awareness, Complex PTSD, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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