Unanswered questions Biological

Sometimes, when I’m sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I wonder why my biological parents didn’t want me.  The story my brother told me was that I was taken away from the home because of neglect. That’s all he had to say about it, he didn’t have any other explanation.  He was told it wasn’t any sexual just neglected by not changing my diapers and I suppose not feeding  me.

What parents seem to neglect some children and I love other children?  My biological brother is one year older than me and apparently they took care of him. I think I’m focusing on the story he told me too much as if that were the truth. I think maybe that wasn’t the truth because it doesn’t make any sense. Why me, why not him? I’m not my younger brother?

And you would think about it if I was just taken away because I was been neglected don’t you think they would’ve wanted me back at some time. How come I wasn’t placed with other family members? Why was I put up for adoption so quickly? You mean to tell me that no other of my relatives grandparents or anybody would have wanted to take care of me and keep me in the family instead of letting me being put up for adoption. 

I also find it interesting that our aunt is still keeping it a secret and not divulging the entire truth. What is left to hide, everybody’s grown-up.   We are all adults now. 

Why did nobody want to look for me the way I looked my whole life for them.  I’m still searching for answers and nobody is asking any questions of me? 

Do you think it’s possible they still don’t care?

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About Avictimnomore

Lost soul, trying to find myself. Trying to learn to be a survivor of child sexual abuse, the death of my parents when I was a teen, and being disowned by my remaining family.
This entry was posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, awareness, brother, Complex PTSD, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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