Category Archives: adoption

Unanswered questions Biological

Sometimes, when I’m sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I wonder why my biological parents didn’t want me.  The story my brother told me was that I was taken away from the home because of neglect. That’s all he had … Continue reading

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Not good enough

After the shitty day I had at work I think I’ll talk about not feeling good enough. Not being good enough to have a decent job. Not good enough to have a decent position in a shitty job. Not good … Continue reading

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Toss up

I have so many thoughts in my head I don’t know which to talk about. Should I talk about my anxiety and feelings of never being good enough, never getting a good job again?  How long is my brain going … Continue reading

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Another Episode

Yes, I had another HUGE anxiety episode today. I didn’t bother to mention the big trigger I had Thursday.  I’ve started my new medication and it can’t start working fast enough. Basically it’s like three weeks without depression or anxiety … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, awareness, brother, Complex PTSD, death, depression and anxiety, Diabetes, weight, diet, healthy, kidneys, incest, love, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Another Rollercoaster Ride

I awoke today (Wednesday) with more energy than I’ve had in quite some time. It was nice, although strange and a little guilty feeling. That lasted about three hours until the aggravation and anxiety set in. I’m trying very hard … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, anxiety, child abuse, Complex PTSD, depression and anxiety, incest, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Whew!

That was a rough week. One of the shittiest I’ve had in months. I won’t say that it’s all over or I’m all better now, but I do feel a little better and have gained back some control of my … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, brother, child abuse, Complex PTSD, death, depression and anxiety, Diabetes, weight, diet, healthy, kidneys, incest, love, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

More feelings, more hate……

I’m still thinking too much.  I want it to stop.  My therapist says it’s good for me.  Now, if only I could cry. That’s supposed to be the best part.  I came across this article tonight, thought I would share … Continue reading

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Just in case….

Just in in case anybody is paying attention, I hate my life.  I have little bits of joy here and there.  But for the most part it sucks.  How much of it is real? How much of it is perceived … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, awareness, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, parent death, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Regrets…More Holiday Blues

Regret. Plenty of it.  You’re supposed to live your life without regrets. Ha ha. How does one do that? Are there really people who have no regrets? Do we evolve so that we can take those regrets and turn them … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, awareness, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, Holidays, incest, love, parent death, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Another Joyful Holiday 

Well, another joyful holiday is upon us. I’m laying in bed, in the dark trying to feel better but just thinking of all the reasons I feel like crap.  November is a bad month.  First there was my girlfriends fathers … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, awareness, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, parent death, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment