Category Archives: incest

Unanswered questions Biological

Sometimes, when I’m sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I wonder why my biological parents didn’t want me.  The story my brother told me was that I was taken away from the home because of neglect. That’s all he had … Continue reading

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Not good enough

After the shitty day I had at work I think I’ll talk about not feeling good enough. Not being good enough to have a decent job. Not good enough to have a decent position in a shitty job. Not good … Continue reading

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Toss up

I have so many thoughts in my head I don’t know which to talk about. Should I talk about my anxiety and feelings of never being good enough, never getting a good job again?  How long is my brain going … Continue reading

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Another Episode

Yes, I had another HUGE anxiety episode today. I didn’t bother to mention the big trigger I had Thursday.  I’ve started my new medication and it can’t start working fast enough. Basically it’s like three weeks without depression or anxiety … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, awareness, brother, Complex PTSD, death, depression and anxiety, Diabetes, weight, diet, healthy, kidneys, incest, love, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Another Rollercoaster Ride

I awoke today (Wednesday) with more energy than I’ve had in quite some time. It was nice, although strange and a little guilty feeling. That lasted about three hours until the aggravation and anxiety set in. I’m trying very hard … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, anxiety, child abuse, Complex PTSD, depression and anxiety, incest, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Managing Emotions

One of the things difficult for me, as a result of childhood sexual abuse, is my inability to handle my emotions.  I used to think that I dealt with my emotions well. Now I see that is not the case. … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, brother, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, incest, PTSD, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

I really fucking hate my life sometimes. 

I keep trying and trying. Try to be a good person, try to be kind.  Try to learn how to work with my depression and anxiety. Trying to learn how to change the way I feel and react to things. … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, brother, child abuse, Complex PTSD, death, depression and anxiety, incest, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Whew!

That was a rough week. One of the shittiest I’ve had in months. I won’t say that it’s all over or I’m all better now, but I do feel a little better and have gained back some control of my … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, brother, child abuse, Complex PTSD, death, depression and anxiety, Diabetes, weight, diet, healthy, kidneys, incest, love, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Worried? 

For those of you friends and family who may be worried about me and my experiment and rested sure that so far my numbers are all good. And I realize it’s only been a day or so but so far … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, child abuse, Complex PTSD, depression and anxiety, Diabetes, weight, diet, healthy, kidneys, Healthy, incest, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Growing pains

Here I am again. I’m hoping that one day I will be writing when I feel good or when something good happens, not when I’m depressed or have had a bad day.  I believe I mentioned previously that I have … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, brother, child abuse, depression and anxiety, incest, love, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments