Category Archives: love

Another Episode

Yes, I had another HUGE anxiety episode today. I didn’t bother to mention the big trigger I had Thursday.  I’ve started my new medication and it can’t start working fast enough. Basically it’s like three weeks without depression or anxiety … Continue reading

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Whew!

That was a rough week. One of the shittiest I’ve had in months. I won’t say that it’s all over or I’m all better now, but I do feel a little better and have gained back some control of my … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, brother, child abuse, Complex PTSD, death, depression and anxiety, Diabetes, weight, diet, healthy, kidneys, incest, love, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Growing pains

Here I am again. I’m hoping that one day I will be writing when I feel good or when something good happens, not when I’m depressed or have had a bad day.  I believe I mentioned previously that I have … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, brother, child abuse, depression and anxiety, incest, love, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Kind Words

Yesterday I had individual therapy. Even though we talked about things I’d done in the past that still doesn’t make me feel very good about myself, I left feeling pretty decent. I wasn’t sad or depressed, or disgusted with myself. I do … Continue reading

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Why?

Sometimes I don’t even know why I try! Why do I struggle to stay alive? Why do I keep going to therapy? To group? Why do I try and watch my blood sugar?  Why do I take all of my … Continue reading

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More feelings, more hate……

I’m still thinking too much.  I want it to stop.  My therapist says it’s good for me.  Now, if only I could cry. That’s supposed to be the best part.  I came across this article tonight, thought I would share … Continue reading

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I don’t hate you……

I don’t hate you, my brother Kreigh.  I hate the things you’ve done. I hate the way you made the little girl, that was me, feel.  I hate the way I feel today because of the things you did to … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, brother, child abuse, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Coincidentally 

I was just talking about this very thing to my therapist today. I have been having triggers for a week now. I can’t really identify the trigger exactly but it’s the sick, uncomfortable, anxious feeling that I am getting, the … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, child abuse, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Just in case….

Just in in case anybody is paying attention, I hate my life.  I have little bits of joy here and there.  But for the most part it sucks.  How much of it is real? How much of it is perceived … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, adult survivor of child abuse, awareness, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, parent death, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

A New Year New Light 

No resolutions. A promise  to myself to try and take better care of myself. Diet exercise, take my dog for walks.  Went with Anne and her mom to hard rock. Had fun. Did ok with my diet until dessert. I … Continue reading

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