Tag Archives: suicide

Unanswered questions Biological

Sometimes, when I’m sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I wonder why my biological parents didn’t want me.  The story my brother told me was that I was taken away from the home because of neglect. That’s all he had … Continue reading

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Not good enough

After the shitty day I had at work I think I’ll talk about not feeling good enough. Not being good enough to have a decent job. Not good enough to have a decent position in a shitty job. Not good … Continue reading

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Toss up

I have so many thoughts in my head I don’t know which to talk about. Should I talk about my anxiety and feelings of never being good enough, never getting a good job again?  How long is my brain going … Continue reading

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I really fucking hate my life sometimes. 

I keep trying and trying. Try to be a good person, try to be kind.  Try to learn how to work with my depression and anxiety. Trying to learn how to change the way I feel and react to things. … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, anxiety, brother, child abuse, Complex PTSD, death, depression and anxiety, incest, parent death, PTSD, sexual abuse, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Crazy Experiment? 

I went off my meds today. I actually started last night with my 5pm pills being the last of the day. No insulin or METFORMIN before bed.  No high blood pressure pills. No anxiety meds or depression meds. I take … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, Diabetes, weight, diet, healthy, kidneys, PTSD, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Kind Words

Yesterday I had individual therapy. Even though we talked about things I’d done in the past that still doesn’t make me feel very good about myself, I left feeling pretty decent. I wasn’t sad or depressed, or disgusted with myself. I do … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, awareness, brother, child abuse, death, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, Diabetes, weight, diet, healthy, kidneys, incest, love, parent death, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

More feelings, more hate……

I’m still thinking too much.  I want it to stop.  My therapist says it’s good for me.  Now, if only I could cry. That’s supposed to be the best part.  I came across this article tonight, thought I would share … Continue reading

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I don’t hate you……

I don’t hate you, my brother Kreigh.  I hate the things you’ve done. I hate the way you made the little girl, that was me, feel.  I hate the way I feel today because of the things you did to … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, brother, child abuse, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, incest, love, sexual abuse, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Almost Christmas

It’s almost here! That wonderful time of year where we all share joy and laughter, good times and good food. Bah Humbug! I am dreading Christmas this year more than usual. I am usually a little happy about it. I … Continue reading

Posted in adult survivor of child abuse, depression and anxiety, depression awareness, Holidays, love, suicide, suicide prevention, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Not Waking Up

Ever have those days when you wish you wouldn’t wake up the next morning? Of course you have. That’s why you’re reading this.   It’s one of those days.  Has been for a few days.  I don’t like being here, … Continue reading

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